Breaking the Silence: Overcoming Money Shame for Financial Freedom

Introduction

Money is a topic that often carries a heavy burden of shame, especially for women. Despite its importance in our lives, many of us avoid discussing money, driven by feelings of inadequacy, embarrassment, or even fear. This shame can be a significant barrier to achieving financial security and empowerment, but it’s something that can be addressed and overcome.

The work of overcoming this shame involves befriending money—learning to know it inside and out, understanding your net worth, and becoming clear on your financial goals and desires. It’s about dismantling the societal narratives that have long kept women in the dark about their financial potential, and instead, stepping into a space of confidence and empowerment where you fully own your financial journey.

The Roots of Money Shame

Shame around money is not just about feeling embarrassed; it’s a deeply ingrained belief that our financial situation reflects our self-worth. As Todd Kashdan and Robert Biswas-Diener explain in The Upside of Your Dark Side, shame makes us view ourselves as fundamentally flawed, leading to behaviors like overspending, hiding debt, or avoiding financial planning altogether. This is particularly true for women, who are often socialized to believe they are not “good with money.”

Why Women Are Particularly Affected

This shame is not just about the numbers in our bank accounts—it’s deeply rooted in societal expectations that women should be selfless, modest, and even self-sacrificing. Women are often conditioned to believe that showing interest in money is synonymous with greed or selfishness. As a result, many women internalize these beliefs, leading to a pervasive shame around money matters.

This internalized shame can manifest in various ways: hiding income or financial struggles, feeling guilty about earning or spending money, and avoiding critical financial conversations. It keeps women from truly understanding and embracing their financial reality, creating a vicious cycle of confusion, fear, and financial insecurity.

The Dangers of Financial Stress

A 2021 survey by Ellevest found that money is the number one source of stress for women, with 49% reporting that their mental health has suffered due to financial concerns. Despite this, women are often discouraged from engaging with their finances. From a young age, girls are taught to be cautious with money, focusing on saving rather than investing. This cautious approach can lead to a lack of confidence, making it difficult for women to engage in financial conversations or take control of their financial futures.

The Importance of Financial Education and Open Conversations

Breaking free from the cycle of money shame begins with awareness. Understanding that shame is a learned response, rooted in societal expectations, is the first step. The next is to have open conversations about money. By discussing our financial struggles and successes openly, we can begin to dismantle the shame and see money as a tool for creating the life we want.

Financial education is crucial here. While learning the technical aspects of managing money is important, the real work lies in changing our internal relationship with money. This involves understanding our true desires, biases, and unconscious beliefs about money, and transforming money from a source of fear into a trusted ally.

Our Mission to Support Women in Their Financial Journeys

Minna Schmidt and I are truly passionate about helping women develop a more positive and empowered relationship with money. We are on a mission to transform financial stress into financial confidence, helping women step into their financial power.

Join us on August 19th for our upcoming audio event, “Beat Financial Stress: Mindset Matters,” where we’ll delve into the psychological aspects of financial stress and offer actionable insights. This event will provide you with strategies to manage financial stress and help you become more confident in your financial decisions, allowing you to reclaim control over your financial and emotional well-being.

📅 Mark your calendars for August 19th!

💬 Register now and join us for a transformative conversation that will leave you feeling empowered and ready to take the first steps towards financial freedom. Register Here

Sincerely yours,

Dr. Sophie

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Inspired by:

Castillo, B. (2024). Self Coaching Scholars Workbook – June: Self Confidence. The Life Coach School.

Ellevest Team. (2023, July 21). Women and Investing: How to Grow Your Wealth & Own Your Financial Future. Ellevest. https://www.ellevest.com/magazine/investing/women-and-investing

Kashdan, T., & Biswas-Diener, R. (2014). The Upside of Your Dark Side: Why Being Your Whole Self–Not Just Your “Good” Self–Drives Success and Fulfillment. Penguin Random House.