In my post today, I want to talk about an insightful interview on “Diary of a CEO” by Steven Bartlett, where Mo Gawdat, former Chief Business Officer at Google X, shared his ideas on happiness and related matters of life. Released on October 11, 2021, the interview delves into what Gawdat calls the “happiness equation” and notably explores “the six illusions” that cloud our path to genuine contentment by “blurring” our happiness equation. As I reflect on Gawdat’s concepts and my own experiences, I invite you to think about how these ideas resonate in your own life.
The Happiness Equation
Mo Gawdat presents a simple yet powerful equation for happiness:
Happiness=Reality−Expectations
This equation suggests that our happiness is determined by the difference between how we perceive our reality and our expectations of how life should be. When our reality meets or exceeds our expectations, we experience happiness. However, when our reality falls short of these expectations, we often feel unhappy.
Six Illusions
Gawdat discusses six illusions that deceive us and prevent us from achieving true happiness:
Illusion 1 Thought:
The illusion that our thoughts are always accurate and reflective of reality.
Reflection: I’ve learned that questioning my thoughts helps in managing stress and expectations. This is crucial in my coaching approach. It’s fascinating to observe our thoughts and realise we can rewrite the narratives.
Illusion 2 Self:
The illusion of a fixed self, rather than seeing ourselves as constantly evolving.
Reflection: Embracing change and growth has been crucial in my personal and professional development. Being curious about the seeds of wisdom, talent, and gifts we still have within us and giving them a chance to unfold. I support myself with thoughts like, “I can always try,” “Let’s see what happens,” and “What is really the worst that can happen if I go there?”
Illusion 3 Knowledge:
The illusion that we know everything in a given situation, rather than remaining open to new information and perspectives.
Reflection: Staying open to learning as a gift from life experiences has enriched my coaching practice and personal growth. I tell myself, “What if this is the best thing that could be happening to me right now?” and stay curious about what comes next.
Illusion 4 Time:
The illusion that time is scarce, which can lead to a sense of urgency and stress.
Reflection: Shifting my perception of time has helped me focus on the present and reduce stress. I work on thoughts like, “I have plenty of time to do all I need to do,” or “I am creating something that takes time.” I intentionally make time for what matters, including celebrating and taking care of myself. Check out my Time Mastery Toolkit for tips on reclaiming your agency over time and improving your life: Time Mastery Toolkit.
Illusion 5 Control:
The illusion that we can control everything, leading to frustration when things don’t go as planned.
Reflection: Accepting what I cannot control has been a significant step toward inner peace. It’s crucial to distinguish between acceptance and giving up. Acceptance does not mean surrendering our agency in life!
Illusion 6 Fear:
The illusion that fear protects us, when often it only holds us back.
Reflection: Overcoming fear has allowed me to take bolder steps in my personal and professional life.
Positive Psychology and Happiness
The insights shared by Gawdat align with evidence from positive psychology, a field that studies the factors contributing to human flourishing and well-being. Positive psychology emphasises the importance of mindset, cognitive reframing, and emotional regulation—key elements in Gawdat’s framework.
Growth Mindset in positive psychology:
Carol Dweck’s research on the growth mindset highlights how believing in our ability to grow and change can significantly impact our happiness and success (Dweck, 2006). By shifting from a fixed to a growth mindset, we can overcome some of the illusions proposed by Gawdat that hinder our happiness.
Emotional Intelligence in positive psychology:
Daniel Goleman’s work on emotional intelligence underscores the importance of recognising, understanding, and managing our emotions. High emotional intelligence enables us to navigate our emotions more effectively (Goleman, 1995), reducing the impact of disempowering emotions like fear.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and positive psychology:
CBT techniques, widely used in positive psychology, focus on identifying and challenging distorted thoughts (Beck, 2011). By practicing new ways of thinking, we can, in time, alter our perceptions and improve our happiness equation.
How Coaching Can Help
As an evidence-based life coach, emotional intelligence, and leadership expert, I specialise in working with modern sophisticated women in science and finance to help them navigate these illusions as they occur in their own happiness equation. Here’s how coaching with me can support your journey to greater happiness:
Personalised Guidance:
Through one-on-one coaching sessions, we will identify and address the specific blind spots and illusions affecting your happiness. Personalised strategies will be developed to help you shift your mindset and improve your well-being.
Skill Development:
You will learn practical skills to enhance your emotional intelligence, enabling you to manage your emotions more effectively and reduce stress. These skills are crucial for navigating the complexities of professional environments in science and finance.
Mindset Shifts:
Using techniques from positive psychology and cognitive behavioral therapy, we will work on shifting your mindset from fixed to growth, helping you embrace change and view challenges as opportunities for growth.
Empowerment:
My coaching approach is designed to empower you to take control of your happiness equation. By reframing negative thoughts and adopting new, positive beliefs, you will build resilience and enhance your overall quality of life.
Supportive Environment:
Coaching provides a safe, confidential, and supportive space to explore your thoughts and feelings without judgment. This environment fosters self-discovery and personal growth, enabling you to achieve your full potential.
Your Turn
As you consider these concepts, think about how they might apply to your own life. Are there blind spots or illusions that you can now see consistently blur your happiness equation? How can you begin to address them?
By becoming aware of these mental distortions and challenging them, we can align our reality more closely with our expectations, paving the way for a more fulfilling and happy life.
Feel free to reflect on how these insights resonate with you and share your thoughts. If you’re interested in exploring these concepts further or need support in your journey, let’s connect!
Sincerely yours,
Dr. Sophie
+++++++++++
References
Beck, J. S. (2011). Cognitive Behavior Therapy: Basics and Beyond (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.
Bartlett, S. (Host). (2021, October 11). Mo Gawdat: The Happiness Equation [Video podcast]. In Diary of a CEO. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csA9YhzYvmk&t=10s
Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Random House.
Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. Bantam Books.
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