Developing a Healthy Relationship with Money: A Guide to Financial Mindset Transformation

Have you ever felt that uneasy knot in your stomach when you think about money? Perhaps you’ve found yourself avoiding conversations about finances or putting off that moment when you sit down and look at your bank account. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. For many people—especially women—money is far from being that neutral force in our lives, or even “just numbers”. It’s deeply emotional, tied to our sense of security, self-worth, and even identity.

The good news? Just like any relationship, your relationship with money can evolve. With some thoughtful reflection and intentional action, you can transform your financial mindset and create a more empowered and fulfilling connection to your finances.

Why Your Money Mindset Matters

Our beliefs about money are shaped by experiences early in life. Perhaps you grew up hearing that “money doesn’t grow on trees,” or that “wanting too much makes you greedy.” These ideas, though often unspoken, leave a lasting mark. Even if you’ve achieved financial success, those subconscious stories can still show up—whether in guilt about charging for your services, hesitation to invest in yourself, or even anxiety about spending.

I know this personally. As a pofessional working in high-level technical & financial roles, I never questioned my relationship with money. Surrounded by spreadsheets, forecasts, and investment models, I assumed I had everything under control. Yet when I transitioned into coaching and entrepreneurship, I realised how much emotional baggage I carried about money—beliefs that I wasn’t even aware of were quietly shaping my decisions.

I’ve seen this pattern with countless women I’ve coached—smart, capable professionals who excel at managing other people’s money or resources but struggle to confidently take ownership of their own financial future.

Shifting Your Financial Mindset

The first step in transforming your relationship with money is to get curious about your beliefs. Ask yourself:

What are the stories I tell myself about money?

For some, it’s the belief that financial success is always accompanied by stress. For others, it’s the idea that “wanting more” is selfish or ungrateful.

The challenge is that these beliefs, when left unexamined, quietly dictate our choices—whether that’s undercharging for our services, feeling guilty for raising our rates, or hesitating to invest in our own growth.

The key to change isn’t just learning new financial strategies—it’s learning to reframe those limiting stories.

If you’ve been telling yourself that you’re “bad with money,” consider replacing that thought with, “I can learn the skills I need to manage my money with confidence.”

If you’ve avoided financial conversations because they feel uncomfortable, you might remind yourself, “Talking about money helps me take control of my future.”

The words we use matter. With practice, replacing limiting beliefs with empowering ones will start to feel natural—and that’s when real change happens.

Facing Your Financial Reality

For many of us, the most powerful step is also the most uncomfortable—facing our numbers. Taking a clear look at your financial reality may feel daunting, especially if you’ve been avoiding it. But awareness is the foundation of empowerment.

Start by gathering the facts: What’s coming in? What’s going out? What do you own, and what do you owe?

It’s not about judgment—it’s about clarity. The numbers don’t define your worth; they’re simply data points that give you the power to make informed choices. Once you see where you stand, you can take action.

Building New Financial Habits

Creating a healthier relationship with money doesn’t require an overnight transformation. In fact, the most lasting change comes from small, steady steps.

Start by building positive habits:

• Schedule a monthly “money date” with yourself to review your finances. Light a candle, if you wish, make a cup of tea—turn it into a ritual that feels calm rather than stressful.
• Track your spending—not obsessively, but with curiosity. Understanding where your money flows can highlight patterns that need attention.
• Set small, achievable financial goals—whether that’s saving an extra €100 a month or finally opening that investment account.

These actions build confidence. And confidence builds more momentum.

Overcoming Financial Shame

For many people, the most difficult part of transforming their money mindset is releasing shame. Perhaps you’ve made financial mistakes in the past or feel embarrassed by what you don’t know. But here’s the truth: Money mistakes don’t define you. They are lessons, not verdicts.

Instead of dwelling on what went wrong, ask yourself: What can I learn from this?

Forgiving yourself is crucial. Every successful person has faced setbacks—even financial ones. By shifting from guilt to growth, you can begin to rebuild trust in yourself and your ability to manage money.

The Power of Conversations

If there’s one thing I encourage every woman to do, it’s this: talk about money.

We often hesitate to speak openly about finances, yet these conversations are crucial. By discussing money with trusted friends, mentors, or professionals, we normalise the topic and reduce the shame that often surrounds it. Sharing insights, asking questions, and seeking guidance allows you to learn and grow with the support of others.

Final Thoughts: Befriend Your Money

Your relationship with money is also that—a relationship. It requires attention, care, and curiosity.

When you begin to see money not as something to fear or avoid, but as a trusted ally that can support your dreams and goals, everything shifts. With a healthy financial mindset, you’re better equipped to build security, take calculated risks, and enjoy the freedom that comes with financial confidence.

Start small. Stay curious. And most importantly, be kind to yourself as you rewrite your money story.

I am here to guide you if you want to further explore this in an engaging, structured and skilful manner, over a private 1-1 conversation with me, to envisage the option & get you started .

Sincerely yours,

Dr Sophie

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Inspired by :

Castillo, B. (2024). Money is Your Friend Class #1. Presented on 11th January 2024, in Self Coaching Scholars, by The Life Coach School.