“Lost in Transition?” Reclaiming Your Midlife Shift as a Powerful Turning Point

Have you ever felt like your life – or your career – was “fine on paper” but something inside you had shifted?

That quiet discomfort that says: This isn’t working anymore. But I don’t quite know what would.
Welcome to the landscape of midlife transition.

As women, we know transitions well. Motherhood, career shifts, changes in health, ageing parents, divorce or reinvention — we may have lived through some of these chapters already. And yet, the mid-career transition often catches us off guard.

Sometimes it’s chosen. Other times, it chooses us. Either way, it can feel destabilising.

But here’s the invitation: what if this unsettling period isn’t a breakdown… but a portal? Not an ending, but an opening?

Let’s explore how to navigate this powerful – and often misunderstood – phase of life with more confidence, clarity, and care.

Why does change feel so hard?

Change, even when desired, often begins with resistance. Why?

Because our brains are wired to favour familiarity over uncertainty. Change triggers our fear of the unknown. But this fear isn’t a sign something is wrong — it’s a natural, neurological reaction.

Psychological science has long shown that meaningful change unfolds in stages — not all at once (Prochaska & Prochaska, 2019):

1. Pre-contemplation – You’re not yet aware change is needed.
2. Contemplation – You recognise a desire for change, but feel ambivalent.
3. Preparation – You begin to plan.
4. Action – You take the first courageous step.
5. Maintenance – You reinforce the change with new habits.
6. Integration or relapse – You stabilise the shift… or slip back (which, by the way, is totally normal).

The key insight? Relapse isn’t failure. It’s part of the journey. Each loop through the cycle brings more awareness and strength.

The real work is within

Whether the transition is welcome or unwelcome, the hardest part rarely lies in external logistics — but in our internal narrative.

We carry stories about who we are, what’s possible, and how life “should” be.
“I’m not the type to reinvent myself.”
“It’s too late.”
“This isn’t for people like me.”

But what if those aren’t facts — just inherited scripts?

As Grant and Greene (2004) remind us, coaching invites us to update our mental models. It’s not about toxic positivity. It’s about becoming conscious of the beliefs that shape our behaviours — and giving ourselves permission to rewrite them.

The science of neuroplasticity confirms it: our brains are adaptable. By engaging new thought patterns, repeatedly and intentionally, we can literally rewire the way we think, feel and act (Rogers, 2024).

Emotions are not obstacles — they’re signposts

Midlife transitions aren’t just cognitive experiences. They stir deep emotion: fear, sadness, anger, grief… and also desire, hope, even excitement.

So often, we try to “think our way through” a transition. But emotional clarity matters just as much as intellectual clarity.

Here’s the shift: instead of suppressing emotions, we learn to listen to them.

• Name them: “This is fear. This is grief. This is excitement.”
• Accept them: Emotions pass. They don’t define us.
• Learn from them: What is this feeling trying to show me about what matters?

Emotional agility — our ability to move through discomfort without losing our values — is one of the strongest predictors of resilience.

Don’t wait for courage. Act your way into it.

Planning is powerful. But ultimately, change only becomes real when we take action.

And here’s the paradox: we often believe motivation must come first. In truth, motivation grows after action.

Courage isn’t the absence of fear. It’s choosing a new path even when your knees are shaking.

Try this:

• Experiment with a micro-change: a new routine, a trial project, a short sabbatical.
• Visualise success through mental rehearsal — see yourself living the change.
• Celebrate small wins. They build the momentum that leads to transformation.

Your values: the compass you forgot you had

When we’re navigating uncertainty, values are our inner GPS. They ground us.

Before any major decision, I ask clients to reflect:

• What truly matters to me right now?
• What kind of woman do I want to be through this transition?
• What compromises am I willing to make — and which are non-negotiable?

When we re-anchor to our core values, we stop looking for external permission. We begin making aligned, self-honouring choices — even if they’re uncomfortable.

Ask for support. That’s wisdom, not weakness.

Michelle Obama once said, “Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of strength.”
And I couldn’t agree more.

Whether you’re changing jobs, launching something new, navigating loss, or simply feeling “off” — don’t do it alone.

Talk to a coach, a mentor, a peer. Speak your truth. Reflect out loud. It will create space for clarity to emerge.

Transitions are rarely tidy. But they can be sacred.

They invite us to shed outdated narratives and reclaim our own voice.

They ask: What kind of life do you want now? Who are you becoming?

Midlife is not a crisis. It’s an inflection point.

And when you meet it with self-awareness and self-compassion, it can become your most powerful chapter yet.

Let’s not walk away from these questions. Let’s walk toward them — with curiosity, honesty, and courage.

Sincerely Yours,

Dr Sophie

This blog piece was inspired by an original article published in Janette Magazine, May 2025 issue, pages 70–71. You can find the full edition here: https://janette.lu/le-magazine/

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References

Grant, A., & Greene, J. (2004). Coach yourself: Make real change in your life (2nd ed.). Momentum.

Prochaska, J. O., & Prochaska, J. M. (2019). Transtheoretical model. In J. M. Rippe (Ed.), Lifestyle medicine (3rd ed.). CRC Press, Taylor & Francis Group.

Rogers, J. (2024). Coaching skills (5th ed.). Open University Press.