Redefining Success: How to Succeed Without Sacrificing Your Well-being

Have you ever felt like success was just out of reach — a mirage on the horizon? Always nearly there, but never quite enough?

As women, we often chase an ideal of success shaped by others’ expectations. But at what cost? And more importantly: what does success mean to you?

In this article, I invite you to pause and reflect. Let’s re-examine the stories you’ve been telling yourself about your past, your potential, and your path forward — and explore how you can turn your idea of success into a true engine of joy and fulfilment.

The Power of Your Inner Narrative

Your thoughts shape your world. What you believe about yourself influences every decision you make. As Henry Ford famously said:

“Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.”

If you carry limiting beliefs — “I’m not good enough,” “I never get lucky,” “I’m just not cut out for this” — they can quietly, but powerfully, shape your reality. The good news? These beliefs are not set in stone. You can rewrite them — and that’s where freedom begins.

Revisit Your Past with Curiosity (Not Judgment)

The past lives in your mind, not in the present moment. While the events are over, your interpretations and emotional attachments persist. So what if you looked back with a kinder lens?

Here’s how to start:

1. Separate facts from interpretations.

Instead of saying, “I failed,” say, “It didn’t go as planned, but here’s what I learned.”

2. Spot your limiting beliefs.

Ask yourself: Does this belief help me or hold me back? If it’s the latter, it’s time to reframe it.

3. Find strength in struggle.

Rather than dwelling on setbacks, highlight your creativity, your resilience, and the wisdom gained through challenge.

Rewrite Your Story — One Step at a Time

Want to begin your transformation? Try this:

• Zoom out. Imagine telling your story to a friend. What would you say to encourage her? Now offer yourself the same compassion.
• List your wins. However small, they are proof of progress.
• Create a new mantra. Try: “I am learning, growing, and allowed to evolve.”

Why This Matters

You might ask — why dig into the past? Isn’t it painful?

This work isn’t about regret. It’s about reclaiming. It’s about turning your past into a platform, not a prison.

As Brooke Castillo- founder of The Life Coach School – once said: “Discomfort is the currency of your dreams.”

Coaching Can Help

If this feels difficult to do alone, know that coaching can be a powerful ally. It helps you:

• Identify limiting thought patterns
• Rebuild confidence
• Clarify your vision and path, aligned with your values

You already have everything you need to succeed — on your terms, and without sacrificing your joy.

A Note on the Science Behind This Work

These practices — reflecting on your past with curiosity, challenging internal narratives, and rewriting your definition of success — are not just inspiring ideas. They are supported by established frameworks in coaching psychology and behavioural science.

Narrative coaching invites us to re-author our stories by identifying limiting beliefs and reframing them to reflect growth and agency (Drake, 2018).

Cognitive-behavioural coaching (CBC) helps us become aware of unhelpful thought patterns and replace them with more empowering alternatives, aligning thoughts with values-based action (Neenan & Palmer, 2014).

And positive psychology reminds us that flourishing comes not from fixing what’s “wrong” with us, but from cultivating our strengths and what’s already working well (Seligman, 2011).

Together, these approaches provide not only the why, but also the how of building a success narrative that supports your well-being — not undermines it.

In Conclusion

You don’t need to hustle for a version of success that isn’t your own.

You’re allowed to choose a definition of success that includes rest, meaning, purpose, and joy.

So, what story will you choose to tell from now on?

Sincerely Yours,

Dr Sophie

This blog piece was inspired by an original article published in Janette Magazine, May 2025 issue, pages 12–13. You can find the full edition here: https://janette.lu/le-magazine/

References:

Drake, D. (2018). Narrative Coaching. In E. Cox, T. Bachkirova, & D. Clutterbuck, The Complete Handbook of Coaching (3rd ed.). SAGE.

Neenan, M., & Palmer, S. (2011). Cognitive Behavioural Coaching in Practice: An Evidence Based Approach. Taylor and Francis.

Seligman, M. E. P. (2011). Flourish: A visionary new understanding of happiness and well-being. Free Press.