Insights from the 26 June 2025 event in Luxembourg
At our recent Flourish Financially event, we invited participants into a reflective, artistic, and empowering space. Through a sequence of embodied exercises — and a surprisingly revealing set of sticky notes — 30 (men &) women shared candid snapshots of their relationship with money.
The process was simple yet profound:
- Describe your current relationship with money in one or two words.
- Identify the emotion or sensation this relationship evokes.
- Choose a word of intention to carry forward.
What emerged was a powerful collective portrait — rich in emotion, contradiction, and hope.
How Women See Their Current Relationship with Money
Participants’ words fell into four broad thematic clusters:
>> Money as a Tool
Words like “a means to support my life,” “choices,” “necessity,” and “essential” painted a picture of money as pragmatic — neither good nor bad, simply functional.
This instrumental view is consistent with classical economic thinking: money as a neutral medium of exchange. But as we quickly saw, that’s just one part of the story.
>> A Source (or Lack) of Security
The most commonly used word? Security.
Other related terms included “assurance,” “tranquillity,” “planning and security,” and “future security.”
These highlight a central human truth: money, for many, is intimately linked to the need for safety and predictability. Interestingly, the repeated appearance of this theme suggests that security is deeply desired — but not always experienced.
>> Ambivalence, Tension, and Contradiction
A number of women described money as “chaos,” “burden,” “overspending,” “unfair,” or “responsibility.” Others chose more emotionally charged terms like “risk-averse” or “hard work.”
These expressions reveal inner conflict — money as both enabler and source of pressure. This aligns with research in financial psychology, where money scripts developed early in life can drive conflicting behaviours (Klontz & Britt, 2012).
>> Symbolic and Personal Meaning
Some participants reached for metaphor and emotion: “a pot of honey,” “children and health,” “freedom,” “mysterious,” “possibilities.”
Here, money is not just functional or stressful — it’s deeply symbolic. It touches on identity, family, values, and imagination.
The Emotional Impact of Money
In the second exercise, we invited participants to tune into the emotion — or bodily sensation — they associate with money.
>> Calm, Pride, and Groundedness
Words like “peaceful,” “stability,” “soft and comfortable,” “supported and confident,” “listening and security” emerged. These expressions suggest that for some, money provides reassurance, a sense of calm, and even pride.
>> Curiosity and Transition
Other responses — “detached but curious,” “shyness,” “transitional” — indicated a kind of liminal space: not yet at ease, but open to discovery.
This emotional ambivalence is common in coaching: it often signals readiness for change.
>> Anxiety and Guilt
Still, terms like “frustration,” “guilt,” “inflation,” and multiple mentions of “anxiety” pointed to unresolved stress.
Such emotional charge is well-documented in the literature linking financial concerns to mental health struggles (Norvilitis et al., 2006).
Commitments and Intentions for the Future
In the final prompt, each woman chose one word or phrase that reflected the energy she wanted to bring into her future financial life.
>> From Control to Empowerment
Phrases such as “more control,” “empowered,” “be bold,” “focus,” and “movement” reflect a shift towards agency. This aligns closely with self-determination theory, which emphasises autonomy and competence as keys to wellbeing (Ryan & Deci, 2000).
>> Welcoming Joy and Pleasure
Words like “pleasure,” “sparkle,” “enjoy,” “happy no matter what” signal a reclaiming of joy. For many women, this is a radical shift — seeing money not only as stress or survival, but as a vehicle for enjoyment.
>> Mindset Shifts and Psychological Growth
Some chose intentions like “trust the process,” “believe,” “harmony.”
These expressions suggest a movement toward acceptance, patience, and belief in long-term change — hallmarks of a growth mindset (Dweck, 2006).
What We Learned: 4 Core Insights
- Money is Deeply Emotional
Although the prompt was just one word, participants responded with feeling. As behavioural economist Andrew Lo (2012) observed, our financial decisions are rarely rational — they are shaped by fear, hope, memory, and context.
- Security Is a Core Need
The theme of security cut across nearly every question. But its frequency may hint not at abundance, but absence. Financial safety is clearly top of mind — yet not always within reach.
- Ambivalence is Normal
Many women reported holding two truths: money as freedom and burden; chaos and planning. This complexity is real. And it must be acknowledged if we want to support lasting change.
- Hope is Alive
The third question revealed an inspiring truth: even amidst tension, there is aspiration. Words like “focus,” “believe,” “movement,” and “empowered” show readiness. The seeds of transformation are already present.
Implications for Coaching and Empowerment Work
What does this mean for practitioners and programme designers?
- Hold space for paradox. Empowerment doesn’t erase fear — it makes space for it.
- Use metaphors deliberately. Participants already speak symbolically. Integrating these metaphors into coaching can unlock insight.
- Normalise emotion. Naming feelings is an act of power. Programmes that cultivate emotional literacy can foster clarity and confidence.
- Build trust, not pressure. Transformation needs psychological safety. Clients grow when they feel witnessed, not judged.
If our sticky notes taught us anything, it’s this:
>> The relationship women have with money is not static.
It is evolving, layered, intelligent — and ready for transformation.
Sincerely yours,
Dr Sophie
+++++++
References
Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The new psychology of success. Random House.
Klontz, B. T., & Britt, S. L. (2012). Money beliefs and financial behaviors: Development of the Klontz Money Behavior Inventory. Journal of Financial Therapy, 3(1), 15–42.
Lo, A. W. (2012). Adaptive markets: Financial evolution at the speed of thought. Princeton University Press.
Norvilitis, J. M., Merwin, M. M., Osberg, T. M., Roehling, P. V., Young, P., & Kamas, M. M. (2006). Personality factors, money attitudes, financial knowledge, and credit card debt in college students. Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 36(6), 1395–1413.
Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68–78.
When Identity Changes Quietly: On Becoming, Letting Go, and Learning to Trust the In-Between
There is a moment in every transformation that is almost invisible. It is not the moment we decide to change.Nor the moment others start noticing. It is the moment when we realise, quietly and with a little surprise:Oh… I have travelled a long way. That moment has...
Enthusiasm Is Not Naïve. It Is How I Choose to Stay Alive.
Let me share something with you, simply, honestly. I had one of those moments recently. Not a dramatic revelation, more a quiet internal click. The kind that gently rearranges things rather than shaking them apart. I was listening to an interview with a filmmaker, and...
Can your planning really be your best ally?
Or what if organising your time was also an act of self-respect? Let me ask you something, friend to friend. Have you ever spent a long time crafting the perfect plan for your week, colour-coded, well thought through… only to feel strangely resistant, heavy, or...
